【杨瑾鸿】新西兰婚姻图鉴
By 中文先驱专栏作家 杨瑾鸿· 2017年06月16日 05:53
中文先驱专栏作家 杨瑾鸿
The marriage rate in New Zealand has declined, according to the New Zealand department of statistics. There are a few reasons for this:
1. People are marrying later in life.
2. People are choosing to just live together without getting married.
根据新西兰统计局数据显示，新西兰的结婚率下降了。有如下原因：
1， 人们更倾向于晚婚。
2， 人们倾向于选择同居而不是结婚。
This may be suprising for Chinese people who are more traditional. In New Zealand, you'll often meet a couple who will refer to each other as "partner". This can be confusing if the people are in business, because we use the same word "partner".
这个数据可能会让相对保守的中国朋友吃惊。在新西兰，你会经常遇到称呼对方为自己“合伙人（这里指伴侣）”的情侣。如果这些人是做生意的，这可能会更使你感到疑惑，因为在生意中我们用同一个词“合伙人”。
It's even more confusing because there are normal couples, and gay couples. So confusing!
然而因为有男女情侣还有同性恋情侣，所以一切就更让人困惑了！懵了！
As far as I can remember, New Zealand has been like this for at least 20 years. However, there is a group of people with similar values to traditional Chinese, and that is the Christians.
据我记得，新西兰至少二十年都是这样的。然而，也有一个群体和保守的中国朋友持相似的观点，那就是基督教徒。
This is my "tribe", the Christians. I believe it's one reason I can relate to Chinese culture, because some of Christian views are very similar to Confucius' view.
这是我的“部落”，基督教徒。我相信这是我与中国文化有共鸣的其中一个原因，因为一些基督教的观点和孔子的观点非常相似。
Both Confucius and the Bible give people strong views about the importance of family to society. Especially marriage and having children.
孔子和圣经都向人们强调一个家庭对社会的重要性，尤其是婚姻和生育后代。
As I said, that's my "tribe", those are the beliefs I hold. But I can also understand where other people are coming from.
就像我说的，这是我的“部落”，这是我所坚持的信仰。但是我也能够理解别人各自不同的信仰。
When everybody agrees the same thing, it leads to a very harmonious and stable society, but also a stagnant one.
当每个人对事情持同样的意见，这会创造出一个和谐的稳定的社会，但这也会是个停滞不前的社会。
When people can follow their individual choices, and go against the flow (not get married, or not have kids), then society can benefit from their innovative thinking. Or at least, that's how the theory goes.
当人们跟随个人的选择，拒绝随波逐流时（如不结婚不生子），社会就会有从这些人的创新思想中受益。或者至少，理论上是这么讲的。
These two world views seem to be opposed.. But the main view seems to be "live and let live".
In a diverse society like New Zealand, it's really important. New Zealand culture is generally very relaxed, which means we can accommodate other cultures that are more strict.
这两种观点看起来是对立的，但是最主要的观点是“自己活也让别人活”（互相宽容，互不干扰）。在新西兰这样的多元化社会，这尤其重要。新西兰的文化总体上非常放松，这意味着我们可以容纳那些比较苛刻的文化。
So, pretty much here are the rules:
· Marriage – is ok for men and women, and also women and women, men and men
· Living together – is also ok without being married. (Although, if he really loves you, why wouldn't he commit?)
· Arranged marriage – is ok for anyone over 18
· Having more than one husband or wife at the same time – is illegal
所以基本上这些就是规则：
婚姻：男人和女人，女人和女人，或者是男人和男人，没问题！
同居：同居不结婚，没问题（尽管，如果他真的爱你，他为啥害怕承诺？）
包办婚姻：18岁以上，没问题！
同时有多个丈夫或妻子——绝对不行，你犯法了！
By the way, I'm not a lawyer, so don't quote me on any of this. But that's to just give you an idea of what it's like here.
哦对了，我不是个律师，所以我说的并不是百分之百正确的，就是想让大家了解下新西兰大概是什么样的。
In my life, I've met many people who've been married and divorced. The divorce rate in New Zealand – as it is around the world – is 50%. That means when you get married, there's a 50% chance it won't work.
So some people say, why bother? Just save the risk, and the money you'd pay for a wedding.
I say, spend $150 to get the licence, and show your commitment. Go against the trend and make a commitment for life!
But how do you know you've got the right one? Well, that's a subject for a whole other article... talk soon!
在我的人生中，我遇见过很多结婚又离婚的人。新西兰的离婚率和世界其他地方离婚率差不多——50%。这意味着当你结婚的时候，有50%的几率它也许不会成功。
所以有人问，那还费这劲干嘛呀？还不如省点风险，也省省操办婚礼的钱。
要我说的话，花150纽币去领证，以此表忠心。不随大流办婚礼，做个一生的承诺！
但是你怎么才能知道你选择的人是正确的呢？嗯，那就完全是另一篇文章要聊的了……近期再聊吧！
相关阅读：
（责编：Lesley）
（责编：新西兰中文先驱网）
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